Freedom in Promise

Just taking this Sunday afternoon to do some reading. I have developed this habit of ordering books and letting them stack up on my shelf. So I'm trying to be diligent to read well. This afternoon I have picked back up in reading Tim Keller's The Meaning of Marriage. To clear things up, no I'm not getting married. The book was actually put together from bible studies Keller shared, mostly with singles, in his New York church. I think this book is great for all relationship statuses - from "so single" (whatever that means) to happily married for however many years. From a "so single" perspective, it's so great to get out from under this fictional selfish idea that we can have of marriage and see the idea of the sacrificial covenant that it is. Tim Keller gives a PHENOMENAL description on biblical marriage. Anyway, the thing that made me put the book down for a second to write this blog was the chapter on the essence of marriage, specifically the section on "The Freedom of Promising". Here is the quote from the book that is a quote from Lewis Smedes:

When I make a promise, I bear witness that my future with you is not locked into a bionic beam by which I was stuck with the fateful combinations of X's and Y's in the hand I was dealt out of my parents' genetic deck. When I make a promise, I testify that I was not routed along some unalterable itinerary by the psychic conditioning visited on my by my slightly wacky parents. When I make a promise, I declare that my future with people who depend on me is not predetermined by the mixed-up culture of my tender years. I am not fated, I am not determined, I am not a lump of human dough whipped into shape by the contingent reinforcement and aversive conditioning of my past. I know as well as the next person that I cannot create my life de novo; I am well aware that much of what I am and what I do is a gift or a curse from my past. But when I make a promise to anyone, I rise above all the conditioning that limits me. No German shepherd ever promised to be there with me. No home computer ever promised to be loyal help....Only a person can make a promise. And when he does, he is most free. (p. 93-95)

I just loved that. There is freedom in sticking to your promises. No matter what the condition may be after the promise. This is so true in the context of marriage (I'm sure.), but I also know that it is so true in my every day life. It makes me think through how many times I have made promises to people that I have not kept. How many times have my promises been broken because when it came time to fulfill those promises I didn't quite feel like it? It all seems to point back to a recurring theme in my life right now - what I know has to trump how I feel. I KNOW there is freedom in being a woman of my word, and that it is a delight to the Lord (Numbers 30:2; Deuteronomy 23:21-23).

Such a wonderful book! Tim Keller - The Meaning of Marriage. I would definitely recommend it if you are so single, kind of single, barely single, "talking", first dating, dating, seriously dating, almost engaged, engaged, almost married, newly married, happily married, unhappily married, SO married etc. etc. :)

Enjoy Sunday!

"Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!" Psalm 105:4